


I Think I Love You

by TreizeLoves



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst?, M/M, Murder Husbands, how can i read so much fic and still not know how to tag it, mormor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 07:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2100993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreizeLoves/pseuds/TreizeLoves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know what this is and also clearly I don't know how gravity works. Seb falling for Jim (lol) and probably something that could be so much more and so much better but instead it's like a thousand words and lame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I Love You

Everyday for two years, Sebastian has been working.   
He has worked on Christmas and New Years, he has worked on Valentines Day and throughout the whole summer and the whole winter.  
He is the most trusted bodyguard to one slender James Moriarty.  
He hasn’t spent every single day protecting Jim in person, no, he only does that on rare, delightful (to Sebastian at least) occasions. Every other day he carefully manages aliases assigned to him by Jim and takes hits that Jim calls, shooting at least three important people a month and then some totally unrelated, insignificant people for fun, at least it seems. Jim doesn't tell him much.   
He has no idea where Jim lives or what his life is like. When Jim needs him, he shows up at Sebastian’s place, an act that in and of itself can be incredibly alarming. Jim provides the flat so it’s not exactly surprising that he can get into it, he probably has the other set of keys. But he never just walks in, no, Sebastian has never actually seen him enter the building.  
No, instead, Sebastian comes home tired, possibly with a few scrapes and bruises, definitely late into the night and he finds Jim just—just sitting there, silently, all the lights off, nothing but his eyes glimmering in the darkness.  
This is enough to make most people shout or jump or curse with surprise which generally means it doesn’t phase Sebastian. He is not most people and he has carved hiding his emotions into a carefully practiced art.  
Which only gives Jim more delight and something new to play with of course.   
See, when Jim hired Sebastian, Sebastian came prepared for pain and punishment. He came prepared to fall into a trap and scream through hours of torture. He came bearing scars and expecting more scars. He came ready for a fight.  
But instead, when Sebastian gets home, so awfully late at night, Jim stands and he slinks over to him, like a living shadow and he touches him gently and he talks to him softly and he gives him reassurance and support.  
This is something Sebastian has never experienced before and he hasn’t the faintest idea how to react. If Jim hit him, he could stand it, if Jim screamed and yelled and cut him, he would be fine but no, Jim can see that on his face, he can tell what kind of man Sebastian is, so instead he strokes him and he murmurs orders and he promises cupcakes if he does well.  
And this proves entirely confusing to Sebastian, week after week.  
But as time passes, as the world spins on, Sebastian grows accustomed to it. He searches for the pale face in the darkness, he listens for the cold voice.  
And he starts to delight in it. In a world of pain, Jim visits him with a soft, fake kindness. He loves it, though he dares not show. Jim isn’t human, Jim is some other creature and admitting affection for him would only cause more pain.   
Sebastian knows Jim doesn’t know how to love.  
Tonight, it is mid December. It is Sebastian’s third year working for Jim and Sebastian is still enjoying Jim’s poison kindness, maybe even more than usual. December is a lonely month.  
It’s freezing outside but it’s warm in his apartment, pitch black as he kicks off his shoes by the door. He recognizes the darkness of course, knowing he left at least one light on when he left the damn flat.  
“Boss?” He says, softly, pulling off his coat as he strides in.  
“Sebastian,” A giggling voice whispers behind him as arms encircle him.  
He sighs and rests his hands over Jim’s. “I don’t like this.” He insists, not sure whether he’s lying more to Jim or to himself.  
Sebastian can feel Jim giggle more with his nose in between Sebastian’s shoulder blades.  
“You know, you could always call me.” Sebastian struggles to carefully remove Jim’s hands.  
Jim strokes his stomach. “Where’s the fun in that? Pack your things, Sebby! I need you tonight.”  
“What for, boss?” Sebastian manages to escape his grasp and frowns, trying to take an undetectable deep breath.  
“I need your protection, last minute meeting.”  
“Of course, boss.” He reaches to pull his coat back on, wondering if Jim’s embrace is always so shaky, wondering if he always likes it so much. “Any preferred tools, boss?”  
“Nothing unwieldy, Seb. Something small. There shouldn’t be any issues. Though, if there are, I’d love to see you slice him up for me.”  
“Yes sir.” Sebastian goes to his room to grab a few knives. Damn smiling little bastard, tossing about death and guns in the sweetest sort of way. Sebastian misses the days when Jim was uncomfortable to be around, when he disliked his visits. Hating someone is much easier than loving them.  
They get into a small, inconspicuous, black car outside. It drives them to a private airport, where they get into a luxury plane. A man is waiting for them inside the plane, enormous and intimidating, greeting Jim in Russian.  
Jim returns the polite greeting as he sits down and they continue to converse in Russian. Sebastian stands nearby, looking as menacing as he can when he has no idea what’s being discussed and is up against an opponent twice as large as he is.  
Things seem fine until Sebastian notices something, a slight twitch and widen in Jim’s eyes. Something is wrong.  
But Jim’s not saying a word about it, continuing business.  
Then, abruptly the other man stands, laughing deeply and saying something in Russian, something very menacing sounding.  
Sebastian moves to attack but Jim raises his hand. “Don’t, Seb.”  
“What’s going on??”  
“It’s too late.”  
“But nothing’s happened ye—”  
“Everything’s happened, Sebastian.” Jim sighs softly and pours a glass of whiskey.  
Sebastian watches Jim. He’s not sure he’s ever heard him say Sebastian before, not since the day they met. It’s always been something stupid, Seb, Sebby, Sebbykins, Bass, ‘Bastian.   
“Take a seat, Seb.”  
Sebastian does so, slowly, across from Jim, waiting patiently for an explanation.   
Jim gives him nothing, setting the half empty glass of whiskey on the table between them.  
Suddenly, the enormous Russian man falls to the ground with a thump, his body completely still. Sebastian jumps but Jim does not flinch.   
Seconds later, the plane drops, without warning, causing Sebastian’s stomach to lurch. “Jim! What the hell is going on?!” Sebastian shouts, clutching the arm rests as he lifts from his seat slightly.  
“Dead. They’re both dead, him and the pilot. Soon, we’ll be dead too.” Jim says, emotionlessly.   
Sebastian blinks, watching Jim’s blank face as the plane starts to spin.  
“Are you quite sure about that?”  
“Yes. Of course. Why?”  
Sebastian delivers the wide grin of a dead man. “Because, if you’re positive about that, I want to tell you something.”  
“What on earth could you—”  
“I think I’m in love with you, Jim.”  
Jim stares and stammers, these simple words gaining more of a reaction than a whole goddamn plane crash.  
“I’m not really sure how to be in love though, I’ve never done it before, maybe this isn’t even what love feels like,” Sebastian  is shouting now, over the wind rushing around the plane outside. “And I know you probably don’t know how to be in love either—don’t argue, I’ve met you, love’s not your division.” Sebastian pulls himself to his feet, holding tightly to whatever he can and forcing himself through the gravity, taking big, slow steps. “But I figure, us being dying men and all, you should probably know, I’ve never quite felt this way about anybody except you.”  
Jim stares, his eyes wide and soft and maybe even rimmed with tears. “Sebastian, h-h—”  
“It’s okay.” Sebastian coughs out a laugh and a smile around his own tears. “You don’t have to say I love you.”  
“But I do, I mean, I think I do, you’re different and you’re a bloody idiot like the rest at the same time, Sebastian I lov—”  
The small private plane collides with the ground, sending a shockwave through the snowcovered mountain, all words muffled by the sounds of chaos and death.  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> man good job you read it now give me kudos i need them to live


End file.
